You met online, got along and then had a few offline dates. It seemed to be going well, you had been texting, emailing and the first couple of meet-ups went swimmingly. However, you then came to the conclusion that actually this person isn’t the one for you. Or maybe, like Charlotte, you’ve met someone else online that you prefer. So, whats the best way to go about breaking up with someone you met online?
Over at Our Graham HQ we’ve put our heads together and compiled our top tips on how to break it (gently) that it’s time for things to end…
(And you definitely don’t want to be sending emails like this one that Gawker featured as the Most Annoying Online Dating Break-Up Email Ever. Definitely NOT how to go about ending it…)
1. Be swift about it. In other words, cut to the chase. We’ve all heard the ‘It’s not you, it’s me…’ intro and there is no need to use cliches or to waffle on incessantly when breaking up with someone. You really don’t want to drag it out, the more you do the more upsetting it will be for both of you.
2. Do remember that it has only been a couple of dates. You are not in a relationship, and when it comes to online dating people should remember that it is a process of trial and error.
3. Please be polite when you break up with someone. It’s best to be straightforward, and don’t just point out their flaws, rather explain that you had a ‘really great time with them but do not feel romantically inclined’ towards them. That is a perfectly viable opinion to pass on.
4. Do not just cut off contact, especially if you have been on a few dates. At Our Graham we think that it is just downright rude. This poor POF user turned to the dating website’s forum in order to find out an answer, and really, no one really knows the ins and outs of anyone’s decision apart from the person themselves. So be a bigger person and let them know that you’re not interested.
Please don’t leave anyone in this kind of lurch. A short phonecall, or email will suffice.
5. Don’t try and make the person feel better. There is no need for lots of grovelling and compliments. It doesn’t really help. Let them move on…